SOME THINGS THAT MAKE ME TICK...
BEING your own LEADER
Not the same as being your own boss, similar but more so in how you execute your life. At some point in your life you have to sit down and work out who you are and what you want. Many never do this and live life quite happily until retirement. I’m not talking about those people, I’m talking about those who question why they are not happy with their lot but can’t get the answers. Or find answers or ‘reasons’ why it not possible for them to take action. These are basically excuses, if you want to change yourself it is your responsibility and yours alone. Family and social responsiblitlies often fall into this category. If the truth is you are unwilling to be a leader in your own life and take responsibility for your own happiness because of the responsibility you have to others. How about I ask what would be the long term consquence for your family/friends for you to continue being unhappy?
Finding your inner guidance is an entirely individual process that can take minutes, weeks or years. At some point most people decide on who they are and what they want from life. It's knowing whether this decision has been taken from your inner guidance or dictated by those around you, or societal values (what you feel you ‘should’ be doing but don’t actually feel happy about). My belief is, if you are truly connected to your true self, and guided from that place, your life will be well instructed and happy. No mountain in unsurmountable.
Why being ‘SELFISH’ is unselfish
Are you giving time to causes, organisations, clubs and activities that actually leave you completely drained and you feel unappreciated? Perhaps at work you are working the hardest, putting in all the overtime in order to provide for your family.
In my view this attitude to work is outdated, the way people want to work is changing. You can now choose how you want to live. It served the industrial age to control people, fed by religious doctrine, we are led to believe still that if you are virtuous and hard working you will be rewarded spiritually and socially. I’m not saying don’t have a social conscious, just choose causes that set your soul on fire and bring energy back to yourself. It’s about filling your cup before you can pour out to others.
Most successful people have been selfish with their time in order to get where they are. They value and understand that it pays to build a rewarding life in which they are not burning out in the process. Once they have achieved success then they can put the time back to help others. Time and money are the currencies that are rewarded to the successful. As we all know, time and money provide opportunity.
As a mum, there is a perception that it is honourable to put ourselves last. We are led to believe that anything other that total sacrifice for our children makes you a bad mum. I believe it's impossible to work or mother effectively from an 'empty cup'. If you are exhausted, everything is effected, from your mood, your health, your impact on relationships. It's time to prioritise time for yourself.
In order to start my business, I had to retrain, work unsociable hours, and be open about what my beliefs were. In the process of my personal journey I have lost friends as I started to change my priorities. All of these were big issues I had to work through and are very real, scary experiences I had to endure in order to transform my reality and become my ‘authentic’ self.
Being a single mum with little support is no laughing game, but I knew I had to challenge beliefs around what is possible for a single mum to achieve in our current culture. I mean ‘who the hell does she think she is right?’ Yeah I had all of that. I’m open and honest about it. Being an entrepreneur is sometimes a lonely game, where you will be criticised, judged and trolled, but to get through it with a thicker skin, means you reap the rewards of living on your own terms. Because at the end of your life nobody is going to give you a medal for being a martyr.
OPINION over TRUTH
Through all of my personal explorations into self development, books, seminars, coaching etc. my biggest takeaway is that beyond the law (which we must adhere to) there is no ‘right or wrong’ way to live your life.
Everyone’s personal ideological structure is built up over years of experiences, lessons and learnings. This forms your opinions, beliefs and your self esteem. Whether it’s if you believe teenagers in hoodies are more likely to rob you because you read it so often in the paper, or that organic food will stop you getting cancer. This is your opinion. It is neither right nor wrong.
Some people aren’t going to agree with you only because they haven’t the ability to see the world from your perspective. It doesn’t mean they are right or you are right. Morals are personal and built on your own values and belief systems. It is our challenge in life to find a way to effectively communicate our beliefs in a way that is inclusive and productive in living harmoniously together.
SPIRITUALITY or PERSONAL COMPASS
I believe in a combination of the two. These beliefs are very personal and are arrived at through my own explorations into many modalities of thinking. I believe I am autonomous in my thought and actions yet i also believe in a higher consciousness that brings meaning to my own existence. This is an area of my own personal philosophical and theological development, I am currently and probably will always be working on! (see spirituality)
Spirituality and Creativity
People who consider themselves naturally creative tend to have the ability to access their flow state easily. The flow state is the feeling you achieve when you are deeply relaxed or concentrating on a task, so much so you ‘forget’ yourself and become completely immersed. Imagine a concert violinist, who is almost intuitively playing from the heart.
Modern Spirituality and Coaching
So what do I mean by spirituality in coaching?
Trust and intuition.
I use my ability to ‘tune in’ to my intuition and creative mindspace when speaking with clients. This is a deeply concentrated level of focus on you and your whole persona. To listen, absorb, digest and allow suggestions and thoughts to guide the sessions forward. It‘s having trust in the process, that we are being guided to find the best solutions for you.
Spirituality in me
From my first memories as a child until now, I have always felt blessed in the presense of a God and God's love. The word God sparks fear in many, organised religion has had a bad press and many feel their owning their faith means prescribing to an organisation that condones fear, oppression and conflict. I belief from my experience and knowledge of God that this is not the intention of this higher consciousness. The principle behind all religion is a seeking for truth, peace, harmony and love.
The true meaning of the word God is 'I am, that, I am' This to me is everpresent in all things, in each experience, interaction and sensation. I may not have recongnised it for many years, but through awakening and unfolding, now I am aware of what this conciousness is for me. Each day I wake and feel thankful for my body, my existence and awareness of the wonderful world around. My challenge is to daily practice being in this moment of experiencing life on earth as a human being, learning, listening, watching and fulfilling my purpose on a soul level.